Monday, October 15, 2012

.stillness and sunsets.[[original poem]]

I wonder what would happen if we stopped.

Don't you? Don't you ever wonder?
What if we just stopped?
And i don't mean stopping,
dead in our tracks for a split second,
(like we often do at the sight of something unfamiliar).
I mean really stopped.
All movement put on hold.

Except for breathing.
Breathing is essential.

Imagine this:
All the peoples of the world
stopping; putting down
weapons and smartphones,
fear and ignorance.
Gathering on rooftops and mountains and beaches
just to watch the sunset.
And to stop.
They are the same thing, you know,
stillness and sunsets.
Nothing can cure the soul more.

Someone once told me,
"If you don't stop to look around,
you might miss something."

There are a lot of broken souls in this world of ours.
This same world in which the sun
rises in the morning and
sets in the evening.

What if for just thirty minutes
everyday, everyone, everywhere
stopped, stayed still, and
watched the sunset.

What then might the Kin-dom of God look like?


.the other side. [[original poem]]

There it goes
behind the mountains
before I can count 1, 2, 3, 4--
It's gone. It feels like it just
arrived.
The days are so full of
questions and laughter,
conversations and tears.
I can't help but to notice the quickness
with which the sun sets.
Sunsets.
Perhaps it wants to
escape
this broken world.
Or maybe his mother called him
home.
They say the earth
moves
around the sun.
Which is to say the sun
didn't move
at all.

I like to think the sun
has a date
with the other side of the world.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

.song/poetry/God.same(thing).

One of my new favorite poems discovered today...
----------------------------------------------------------------
Writing Lessons (by Nikki Giovanni, Blues for all the Changes)

There are... still... so many books I want to read... and reread...

There are...still... so many places I want to travel... to...

There are... still... foods I want to eat... and drinks I want to sample...

There are... blankets to lie upon or under...

There are... pillows upon which to prop my books or my head...

I definitely want to rocket to outer space... I also want to explore inner space...

I know no one ever wished they had been meaner...

Or hated more...

Or spent more hours away from people they loved...

I know that life is interesting and you can never go wrong Being interested

If I were giving advice I would say: Sing
    People who sing to themselves
    People who make variations on songs they know
    People who teach songs to other people
    These are the people other people want to be with

and that will let you be a good writer
     Because

There are... still... so many ideas to conceive


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

.unpacking the God box.


The (current) predominant perception of God suggests that God is:
  • Omniscient (all-knowing)
  • Omnipotent (all-powerful)
  • Impassable
  • Eternal
  • Immutable (unchanging)
This theory (called "classical theism") originated in the theology of Augustine (~4th c.) and has been expounded on by theologians and pastors ever since.

Let's get something clear: 
This perception has really messed up people
[and people's understanding of who God is]
-----------
With that in mind, know this:
Just because it was espoused by a single person 
and then talked about like it was absolutely True, 
doesn’t mean it has to be the Truth. 

Think about it. 
Who is God to you? 

Monday, August 13, 2012

freedom

Those who do not move, 
do not notice their chains. 

-- Rosa Luxemburg


Sunday, July 22, 2012

.Accounting for our Talents.


Summer of Sin: Sloth
"Accounting for our Talents"
First Congregational Church, UCC
Battle Creek, MI
Koinonia
July 15, 2012
_______________________________

The year before I went to seminary, I was working at a non-profit called “My Friend’s Place,” a drop-in center for homeless youth and young adults in Hollywood, California. My job, as the Special Projects Intern, was to invest my time and energy into building relationships with the young people, developing creative programming to help them discover their skills, and run educational workshops on any given topic. Because I was working through a volunteer program, I only got to work there for a year. That being said, I showed up to work ready to go, excited for a new and different experience. But as it usually goes with new experiences, for me, I got there and froze up. I was terrified. I was working with a population that was new to me and doing work for which I was entirely unqualified. So I followed my supervisor’s commands… did what I was told… and went home everyday knowing that I never rocked the boat. I worked really hard not to have conversations that I was afraid of having and put no effort into doing something new or implementing a new workshop for the youth. Seven months. For SEVEN MONTHS I did this… I was, what we call, a sloth. Sure, I did my work everyday; running around, accomplishing tasks set before me by my boss, but what I was missing was me… I wasn’t using the gifts, talents, or skills that I had in the environment in which I worked. After all, these gifts were probably the reason that I was hired in the first place…. As we explore the sin of sloth today, listen to this similar theme in your life. Let us pray.

(pray)

Our scripture for today sounds to me like one of those word problems that I can never figure out… If one train is traveling at 65 mph and another train on the same track is traveling at 50 mph, when will they hit? You know? It can come across a little confusing, so let’s figure it out together, shall we? Here we have a man, presumably a guy who has some men working for him, whom the passage calls “servants.” How many servants does he have? Three. Ok Good. So apparently this guy, before he goes off on vacation gives each of the men money ahead of time. The amount of money he gives to each person in this story is an unfathomable amount for their day. I mean, we’re talking a supervisor at a minimum wage paying job giving you a $300,000 dollar advance, right? So he has three servants and gives each of them a sum of money according to their abilities. The first two guys invested their money and doubled the amount. What did the third guy do? Anyone remember? ………….. Yup, he was so afraid of his master that dug a hole and buried his money in it to protect it. When the head honcho came back from vacay, each of the men were eager to show to him what they did with their portion of money. He was so impressed with the two who invested their money that he gave them a promotion. Then, the guy who was a) given the least amount of money and b) buried it in a hole, told his boss what he did and he threw a fit… “That’s a terrible way to live!” he says, “It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least?” He then commands that the “play-it-safe” guy be “thrown into utter darkness.”

Whew. Ok. So that’s a lot. Let’s clear up some stuff regarding this parable. The first thing we need to make clear is that there are lots of ways to read this parable. We talked Thursday at Koinonia fellowship about the numerous interpretations of this passage. Depending on the interpretation, some people liked what it had to say, but most struggled with it. And for good reason. Parables are typically challenging, as it is unlikely to ever walk away from a parable with a clear view of how one should act. The second thing about this parable is that I am personally not a fan of the master/servant language. However, to keep consistency and remain true to the original context, I will use it anyway. Thirdly, let us keep in mind that because this is a parable, this story is meant to exemplify a deeper meaning, just like an allegory or a fable. That means that this passage really isn’t about the money. It’s about a different kind of investment… But we’ll get to that later.

So to come back to our sin of the day, we need to understand what sloth is and what it isn’t. We must not think that sloth means laziness. You see, because sin is part of religious vernacular, sloth has some deeper, more spiritual quality to it. Laziness is not that quality. The other thing we must not do is confuse sloth with Sabbath. Sabbath is also a spiritual activity but one that seeks to provide rest and rejuvenation. If we are resting properly, we are most likely not sinning. So, sloth is neither laziness nor Sabbath. A definition I ran across the other day describes sloth as spiritual or emotional apathy. Another way we might describe this is fearful inactivity. Fearful inactivity. Now we have to be careful because inactivity can either mean the lack of action entirely or it can turn into doing a lot of things in order to avoid that one thing. For example, doing every chore but the dishes because you just don’t want to do the dishes. It’s a trivial example, but it gets the point across. Ok so fearful inactivity. But why fearful? Where does this fear come in?

Well, I didn’t grow up learning about the “Seven Deadly Sins” (thank you, mom and dad) and really all I gathered about them is that they were established in early Christian life to exemplify those sins that encapsulate all other. They’re sort of like the umbrella sins. Now I don’t think they’re called the “deadly” sins because we will be struck dead by God should we engage one of them, but rather we will face a spiritual death instead. You see, the way I understand sin is this: it is anything that we do that separates us from God. When we participate in sin, whether personally or corporately, we take a step farther away from God. We move father away from living a life full of goodness and truth.

So, in our scripture for today, the Master went away without giving any instruction to the three servants. He didn’t tell them to invest their money, he simply gave it to them then peaced out. He went on vacation. In this particular interpretation of the scripture, our third servant, the one who buried his talents in the sand, ends up being an example of us. You see, he was legitimately afraid of his boss. He was afraid his boss would be disappointed in him or that he wouldn’t live up to such high standards. Another way we may understand this better is that perhaps that he was also afraid of himself… afraid of using his own resources.
 Either way we see it, he. was. afraid.

Here is where our sloth-like tendencies creep in. If slothfulness is fearful inactivity, then that’s precisely what servant #3 was participating in. This parable is about a different kind of investment. It’s about gifts. Talents. Skills. It’s about using what we have to further the reign of God on earth. We are each brought into the world with gifts bestowed upon us by God. These gifts span human capability. They are everything from managerial skills to parenting to data analysis to assembly line production, to conflict management to compassion and encouragement, patience and perseverance. The list could go on forever. We embody a diverse array of gifts, both personally and communally. While they span human capability, however, they cannot be laid down on a value scale. That’s what happened in our scripture, did you catch it? Each of the servants was given a sum of money according to their capabilities. You see, it is people in power that determine whose gifts are more valuable than others. We are embedded in a society dedicated to diminishing certain kinds of skills, but who is to say that compassion has less value than managerial aptitude.

Now there may be some of you feeling as though you can’t pinpoint any of your gifts. OR perhaps you know what they are but just have been too afraid call them out or to use them. But why is that? Well, as some of you know, I took a poll on Facebook this last week asking this same question. (And thank you to those of you who participated!) Why are you afraid to use the gifts that you have? There were varying responses but I found that most of the responses had to do with either personally feeling incapable or worrying about other people’s responses or reactions. Each of the answers I received on Facebook was fear-based. This fear, again, prevents us from living in truth…. Living the truth of who we are and what we bring to the table. Whether it’s our internal critic, potential ridicule, or a feeling of ineptitude, each time we choose not to use our gifts, we get further away from God. When we are fearfully inactive, we are not using our God-given talents. Fear paralyzes us and prevents us from using our gifts.

Our guy who buried his money in the sand was afraid of disappointing his boss, of not living up to his expectations… does this sound familiar? How often have we been afraid to use our skills simply because we were afraid of what someone would say or because we didn’t think we would be good enough?

For those of us who are having a hard time identifying gifts or feel a lack of support for the ones we do know we have, this might not seem like the best news you’ve heard all week.

BUT here is the good news! It is my understanding that all of this that we have explored today is about accountability. When we are in the trenches… in the deep depths of feeling useless… sometimes all it takes is someone to step in and encourage us. Someone to push us beyond what we thought we knew. Beyond what we thought could do.

In one of my monthly meetings in the spring with my supervisor, she asked me what kind of events I had planned for the youth. She asked what it was that might help advertise programs better. She pushed me to think more critically about the program… where it was and where it was going. For the first time I finally realized that I had the gifts to move the program in whichever direction seemed fitting. I had the ability to speak up and say what I thought should be happening in the agency. It took me seven months and a monthly meeting to realize my potential. I had the potential all along, I was just too afraid of using it. I spent seven months in the utter darkness because I was too afraid to speak up. But once I did… once I pushed for different means of communication and came up with programming all of my own, I recognized what my job was supposed to feel like. Not one relegated to the tasks given to me but one capable of opening doors and educating young people in ways they had never experienced. I spent the last five months of my internship doing everything I could possibly do to makeup for lost time. I had the hard conversations that had previously left me feeling incapable. I planned an event and took the criticism as it came. I tried and I failed, tweaked it and tried again.

You see, my supervisor, understood accountability. As a person of power in my organization, she didn’t believe in hierarchical value systems. Instead she believed that whatever I had to offer was good. She valued my compassion and my persistence, my organizational and critical thinking skills. One was never more important than the other but only added to the work I did with the young people. Once I let myself do what I knew I was supposed to be doing all along I grew in ways I could have never imagined. I took risks and stepped out on a limb over and over as a way of benefitting the organization. You see, my supervisor kept me accountable and moved me out of sloth, pushed me beyond what I knew, and simultaneously propelled me closer to God.

So let us not live in fear of the skills we bring or fear of what others might say. Let us not place value in some gifts more than others. Instead, let us be creative and let us be accountable to each other. Let us push each other beyond our limits and invest ourselves in calling out each others gifts and talents and skills for they are God- given, God-ordained. They are meant to be used in this life to better the lives of those around us and to give us a life full of goodness and truth.

Amen. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

.let not the light and life cease.

"The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life flow no longer in our souls." 
(elizabeth cady stanton)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

.Top Ten.

As I approach ministry in an internship site in the fall and professionally (in two years, G-dwilling), I found this to be of serious help and importance. Written by my pastor/mentor, Emily Joye, for a friend's ordination, she posted this on facebook. (If you re-post, please give credit where credit is due.)


What's most important to know for the work of ministry... a top 10 list:

1. It's more important to embody the ethic of Jesus than it is to preach the ethic of Jesus. Incarnating Christ in your body, in all your interactions/words/deeds/relationships (at home and at work and in the streets) is the living witness the world needs. Hence an open mind/body/soul to the Holy Spirit should be the pastor's number one priority which is impossible if you're running around trying to fulfill every obligation under the sun. A posture of humility toward God and the ability to say "no" will preserve you.

2. People's responses to you (especially the things about you that are 'minority' in any context: color, gender, denomination, etc) are about them and not about you. Figure out who you can trust, people whose feedback is honest, genuine, and faithful whether their feedback is affirmative or critical. Listen to them and change accordingly. But do not give yourself over to any old person's opinion.

3. People will outsource their spirituality to you. Don't let them. Big difference between a missionary and a steward. I think too often, because of ego (savior complex b/c we don't trust God), we try to be missionaries when we should be stewards. "Equipping the saints for ministry..." in Ephesians 4. Not "saving the saints for ministry..."

4. Preach the context of the text as much as the meaning of the text. The biblical illiteracy in our society is epidemic and has given way too much license for foolishness in God's name.

5. If you quit growing spiritually, you will be of no use to God. Stay disciplined in the practices that connect you to the Holy Spirit.

6. Good colleagues/friends will save your life--especially colleagues with a sense of humor that can laugh HARD with you. Have a select few that you can tell *everything.* Get together often with them and let it all hang out.

7. The Church is not God. If you start feeling like you're serving a religious institution to the peril of faithfulness to the Living God: quit.

8. Do things that have nothing to do with ministry when you feel burned out: read a novel, walk outside, listen to music, play with your kids, etc. A little time away can work wonders.

9. Don't EVER sacrifice your family.

10. Even when it feels scary, horrifying, too big, too much--speak/be the truth. You will only do this if faith in God's revelation is more important to you than human approval. It's not for the faint of heart but it is life sustaining, life changing, and life-saving practice for you and those you serve.

.on the brink of pentecost.


"My life depends on engaging the most ordinary physical activities with the most exquisite attention I can give them. My life depends on ignoring all touted distinctions between the secular and the sacred, the physical and the spiritual, the body and the soul. What is saving my life now is becoming more fully human, trusting that there is no way to God apart from real life in the real world.”


(Barbara Brown Taylorfrom An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith)




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

.really live- not merely exist.

This prayer/poem/scripture by Howard Thurman is a constant source of strength and joy and challenge in my life. Finding it particularly helpful and relevant these days...



(This image is of the poem as it hangs on the wall next to my bed. I wrote it out and emphasized the words with color. In case it's hard to read, you can read it in full here.)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

.covenant.

For those of you who don't know, I recently accepted a field education position at Community Congregational Church of Belvedere-Tiburon. This means that during the next school year, I will intern with this church as a "Minister-in-training" (which sounds ridiculous, but that's the legit term) for 15 hours a week... in addition to taking three other classes and a seminar class in which we process our experience.

This past Sunday I went to CCC so the pastor/my mentor, Rev. Dr. Curran Reichert, could introduce me to the congregation. I was welcomed with so many open arms, it brought me to tears. They are so excited to have me and I cannot express how mutual that feeling is.

On top of this introduction, they were also welcoming three new members into the fold. As part of this ritual, the congregation recited together the covenant, which might be the most eloquent/poetic covenant I've ever read. It says this:

To live out the questions together hand in hand,
supporting the fragile,
protecting the wounded,
giving the angered space and time,
dancing with the freed,
celebrating moments of balance and 
not fearing the unfolding of imbalance. 

Believing in the power of God's revelation
we share a living awareness
that faith and hope and love
are the inhaling and exhaling of life...
...as necessary and real as the air we breathe. 

Therefore, while praying, studying, working
and celebrating together
we shall experience the moments
of our lives in the spontaneous response
to the call of God. 

This was written sometime in the 1960s or 70s but is still incredibly present and visible in the community today. I am thrilled to be embarking on this internship experience with this church. Here's to a year of growth, change, transformation, and joy! 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front


Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

                 .wendell berry.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

.bubble forth.

It is not a coincidence that one of the literary forms used in the Prophets of the Old Testament is narrative.

One word for prophet in the OT is "nabi," which literally means 'to bubble forth'... another way of looking at it is as a 'truth-teller,' someone who speaks the Truth(s) of God to a misguided and beloved people.

prophets=truth-tellers
narrative= story-telling
Prophets wrote narrative.

Our story-telling is an act of truth-telling, an act of prophecy. When we speak the Truth(s) of our life, we are invoking the Holy to be present in that act because it is God who helped fashion that story. Stories can be a life saving act, as so many of the prophets proved, even when the message was delivered with tough love. On several occasions, when prophets were called by God, God assured them that She would speak through them.

"Do not say,'I am just a child,'... I will put words in your mouth." (Jer. 1).

The stories we have to tell are full of Truth and strength, resilience and love, faith and doubt, lost and found, peace and anguish. They speak honestly of our experience and look boldly to the future. They give us a way to connect with others and bring new life to the lifeless. They are an entry point to relationships and a way to dig deeper into others' lives.

Stories are connection. Stories are truth. Stories are hope.

Tell yours and be not ashamed, for others may be carrying the same joy and/or burden.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

.gather.

Seminary cannot be done outside of community. Period.

Here's the deal. I have an ethics paper due tomorrow. Yesterday I met with a friend to talk about the case study we were reading so as to figure out how to identify key points and then construct an argument. Our first task is to identify the main question or problem.  I had proposed what I thought the answer was, but the other person did not agree.

Sidenote: This is new territory for me. I have never taken an ethics class before and it is rare for me to make a solid, logical argument. Though this class is daunting, I have not doubt in its ability to help me in the long run. After all, our professor said on the first day of class that his job was to help us be able to make an argument and not sound like a moron. Perfect.

So my friend and I are sitting out on the quad at PSR and next thing you know, someone else from our class walks up and sits down to talk it out. Half an hour later, another classmate walks up and starts chatting about the case and his opinions about it. Before you know it we are breaking down the case in a way which we could all understand. At the end of the conversation, we felt as though we successfully defined the key issue at hand. To my satisfaction, it was in fact the originally question I posed. And while I relished in that moment for a brief time, I recognized that all the conversation that happened in between was ultimately beneficial to my understanding of the text.

Without that conversation, this paper would have been hell.


"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them..." (matt. 18:20)

"It is an error to isolate oneself... If God dos not call one to solitude, one must life with God in the multitude, make [God] known there and make [God] loved."(raisa maritain)

Friday, February 24, 2012

.idolatry or wonder.

Concepts create idols; only wonder understands anything. (gregory of nyssa)


Thinking about this and how it relates to Lent and intentionality and presence. When we feel the need to get caught up in the way things are or "always have been" we become believers of idolatry. When we consume more than we give and demean more than we uplift, we venerate the profane. By sticking to the hard and fast rules of law and life  and do not leave room for speculation, skepticism, or openness, we take the easy road. We don't have to be perfect. 


Jesus said, "I have come not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." (luke 5:32) Jokes on us... there are no righteous people. We are not perfect, pious, faultless people. Lent is a season of repentance, a season in which we remind ourselves that we are dust... that's all. Just dust. We make mistakes. We fail to speak up/out for the vulnerable. We miss opportunities to connect with God. 


It's a season of wonder...
+wondering why we do the things we do and asking for forgiveness.... 
+wondering how we got to where we are and who we have hurt along the way.... 
+wondering about the things we take for granted and the things we dismiss... 
+wondering about our attachments and finding ways to better articulate our actual, physical needs...


I don't know about you, but wondering sounds far more liberating than concepts. Perhaps through wondering we can all come to better understand our lives in relationship to the earth, to others, and to God. 







Commit with me to being more wonder-full/filled this Lenten season, would you? 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

.musings.

Lots of Ash Wednesday love today...

Here's a poem by Jim Burklo, friend and Associate Chaplain at University of Southern California. I think it hearkens back to the Tracy Chapman song... things are comin full circle...

Ash Wednesday

On my forehead,
A sign of the cross,
Smudged in ash from the fire
That burned down the McMansion of my hubris,
And, with it,
The money I should have given away,
The television I used to numb my senses,
The carpet I should have been called on,
The doors I should have opened to others,
The envelopes I should have used
To send letters of love,
The wise books I shelved prominently
So that others would think I had read them,
The blank places in my photo albums
Where my darker moments should have been remembered,
The calendars where visits with the people who needed me most
Should have been scheduled,
The couch of my complacency,
The lounge-chair of my laziness,
The shirts I stuffed with my pride,
The moccasins I should have traded with others
So we could have walked miles in them.
On my forehead,
A sign of the crossroad
Where I can turn from the way of ruin
To the way of life.

.mountains.

Incredibly relevant as we begin our Lenten journey....

+++
They tell me
renounce all
renounce all those material things you gained by
exploiting other human beings...

....there's still time to save my soul....



Find the lyrics here...

.and so it goes.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. 
Tomorrow is the beginning of a pilgrimage, a yearly pilgrimage. 
Tomorrow begins a 40 day journey through the Wilderness. 


I was just telling a friend tonight that Lent never seems nearly as involved as Advent because it drags on. Advent feels like if you blink, you might miss it. Jesus will be here and it may feel like the process before never happened. And then she reminded me, "That's what it's supposed to be." It's supposed to feel like we're dragging through the mire seeking the light at the end of the tunnel. We know it's there... we can feel hope... but there's so much to get through before we get there. 


T.S. Eliot wrote a poem entitled "Ash Wednesday" that I believe I have quoted on here before. Nonetheless, found this to be relevant to my current feelings about Lent:


...

Because I know that time is always time
And place is always and only place
And what is actual is actual only for one time
And only for one place
I rejoice that things are as they are and
I renounce the blessed face
And renounce the voice
Because I cannot hope to turn again
Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something
Upon which to rejoice

And pray to God to have mercy upon us
...


This year, more than before, Lent for me is about impermanence. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, right? We're born, we live, we die. I love Ash Wednesday because it reminds me how insignificant everything is; yet in this paradoxical way how even the most insignificant things still have a purpose. We're not just ashes. The text doesn't say "Ashes and dust." No, it says "Ashes TO ashes and dust TO dust." That "to" is full of substance and action, a life lived. 


"And place is always and only place/ And what is actual is actual only for one time..."
This season of Lent I am aiming to be more present, more intentional. These words that I received from Inward/Outward today prompted this aim:


"Come back to the heartbeat, the pulse, the rhythm we all walk to, regardless of nation or color. Come back to the breath – inhale, take the world deep into your lungs; exhale, give yourself back fully. This is what the body says: release the peace that lives within your skin." 
             (Gayle Brandeis from, The Body Politic of Peace)


Taking in and giving back fully. This is what I want to do. I have yet to figure out how to embody this goal, but that's why Lent is a journey, right? Perhaps it will not come in one consistent form. In fact, that's not how my spiritual disciplines work anyway. 
Let's just say I'll keep you posted. 


Until then:: "...release the peace that lives within your skin..." and "pray to God to have mercy upon us."


(major props to Brandeis and Eliot and Scripture)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

.know others, know thyself.


"In the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone, the unseen singing softly to itself and to you."
(rachel naomi remen)









[School is keeping me busy. One of these days I will post something of significance. Until then, enjoy these other bits of significance.]

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

.holiness and truth.

"I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the Heart's affections and the truth of the Imagination." 

(john keats)


Thursday, January 19, 2012

.motion movement.

                  


(Apparently videos are my new thing... Though I'm not apologizing because I'm finding that media is an effective/important method of communication...And music has become more and more sacred as I have discovered good music/poetry/Scripture...)


So I have posted this song before. I don't recall the context, but nonetheless, it's worth revisiting (over... and over...) The lyrics can be found here if you want to read along.


This song is/can be about a lot of things. But for me it is about two: physical movement and social movement(s). The last line of the first stanza and the chorus say this:


Each individual reach out, speak to teach the invisible how to be invincible
Motion, movement
Architects, blueprints
Showing, grooving
Teachers, students
Reaching for truth in a self-revolution
The roof is on fire, what's your solution?


Like I said, physical and social. As a student at Pacific School of Religion, I am constantly learning about ways in which to uplift and transform the lives of the marginalized, the invisible (as the Blue Scholars say). And I'm learning, even more, that in "reaching for truth in a self-revolution," my solution is in transforming and being transformed through relationship. In my evangelism class this week we have had lots of conversation regarding how to do evangelism by doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with God (Micah 6:8). Perhaps evangelism and justice are one in the same for it is in acts of justice, mercy and love that we usher people into the Kin-dom of God, the reign of God on earth as it is in Heaven. Here's the deal...



This justice is not about getting butts in the seats.
This justice is not about converting or saving souls. 
This justice is not about church growth. 
This justice is not about doing kind things that make you feel good. 
This justice is not about condemning or shaming. 

Nope.



This justice is about showing love through relationships and story-telling. 
This justice is about ourselves-in-relation, as Carter Heyward would say. 
This justice is about doing love in public, as Cornel West would have it. 
This justice is about making the invisible invincible through the love of God in Jesus Christ. 
This justice is about forging strangers into neighbors. 


This justice is about the roof being on fire because this justice is needed this very minute. 


People are in dire straits, struggling to see love in their life. Their families have abandoned them. They have abandoned their families for fear of abuse and danger. People have lost hope because every last thing has gone wrong. People are looking for something to bring light and renewed energy into their life. I am not one of those Christians that believes Jesus is the only way to live your life. But I believe he brings me into fullness and has transformed my life. This is why sharing stories is so important. It is my hope that in telling my story and building relationships from the bottom up, transformation can happen. Maybe it isn't about Jesus' life, death, and resurrection for someone else. 


But I will tell that/my story/ies all day long.


Sometimes being a witness to a testimony is enough. 
Sometimes seeing a friendly face is enough. 
Sometimes being shown the love of God in a random act of kindness is enough. 


Whatever it is, it is in those moments that the invisible (spiritually/ physically/ mentally /emotionally/ sexually/ economically/ etc.) can be made invincible. It is in the power of the love of God to transform lives through our supportive, nurturing, sustained relationships. 


Sometimes we're the motion, sometimes the movement. 
Sometimes as architects we build, other times just the blueprint.
Sometimes it's our job to show, other times it's our job to show up and just groove. 
Sometimes we're the teachers, but mostly, I think we're the students. 


No matter what/who/where we are, we know Whose we are. And because of that relationship, we will always find ourselves reaching for (T)ruth(s). 












The roof is on fire, 
what's YOUR solution?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

.MLK+.

I didn't get enough MLK on MLK day, did you?

Probably not, so here's some more words from the Prophet himself as spoken by DJ Jay Smooth.


Monday, January 16, 2012

.hope embodied.

there were people there of/with
titles/stature/prominence
black/brown/white/beautiful skin color(s)
lower/middle/upper class status(es)
broken/uplifted spirits
people who have come a long way
and people who have not

in most places/spaces/times
people who preach
"the children are our future"
crumble beneath their words
of discrimination towards young people
creating victims of the trauma
of ageism

but today

the most honest parts of the service,
the times that brought people to their knees
were that of the Youth
and the recognition
(by applause and hollering)
of them by the "adults"
(whatever that means)

it always seems to be that
those who are not given
enough (if any) time/love/space,
in any corner of the world,
shine the most.

speaking words beyond his years
preaching truth and hope and light
into the ears of those who know
struggle and pain,

though only heard in a 5 minute speech,
his passion and dedication is beyond compare.

his hope to be a role model
his hope to be the president
his hope for his friends to be better citizens
was/is all a part of his plan for our world

our collective world
in which we/you/i
live/breathe/have being
together,
young and old.

he spoke of King,
of experience had
and experience(s) to come
he spoke of the dreams of his
ancestors
that became reality/ies.

he spoke of faith, as expressed by King.
"faith is taking the first step
even when you don't see the whole
staircase,"
he reminded us
seemingly faithful people

but the faith he preached
wasn't something of the Unseen
but that of/in the Youth.
don't give up on the young people,
he said.
have faith that they too may
change the world.

guide them
love them
hold them
he/i said/say.

for they hold power beyond compare.
for they have wisdom of many years
for they have voices

for they (truly) are our future.





Sunday, January 8, 2012

.God Exhaled//Reclaiming the Exhale.

Sermon for Koinonia at FCC, Battle Creek  
1.8.11

When I was working with homeless youth in Los Angeles, I remember one specific instance when I sat down with a client just to check in and see how she was doing. Now, mind you, most of these young adults only get one maybe two meals a day from local drop-in centers, like ours. As we talked, she ate her cup of ramen noodles and small pouch of fruit snacks. When it came to her cheetos, she opened them up, ate a couple, and asked if I wanted them. Knowing her situation and lack of resources, I said, “Oh, no I’m good thanks though. Don’t you want them?” “Oh, Ems, I’ve had enough. I’m full.” “Well, save them for later,” I said.  This young woman who has nothing was offering me some of her food because she knew that she had enough to fill her up for the time being.
How do we know when we’ve had or done enough?  Is it when we’re so full we have to unbutton our pants? I know you’ve been there. Have we done enough shopping when we’ve spent all the money in our wallet? Have you done enough when you’ve checked all the things off your list? Have you become enough when you get to the highest position in your company? Do you keep striving because the world says you need more, even though you may be content where you are?
Please join me in prayer… Gracious God who knows when to stop, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of each of our hearts be acceptable in your sight for you are our rock and our redeemer. Amen.                                                                                                                                     So these questions. These questions are difficult because they require us to do a bit of truth-telling. They help us see more clearly the truths that our bodies hold in the midst of an anxious society. Everyday we ask ourselves these questions of “enough” and sometimes we answer them without even thinking twice. Sure, I’d love a pay raise. Yes, of course I will add that task to my list. Yup, I’ll buy that thing because it will make someone in my life happy. Yes, yes, yes, we say. We are always adding onto our never ending to do list, striving to become something more than who we already are, and end up having more than we really need.  Speaking of truth-telling, let’s think about this a little bit. What do these habits of being, having and doing tell us about our relationship to God? In our text for this morning we read that on the 7th day God rested. Literally translated that phrase can say, “God exhaled.” God Exhaled. But God didn’t exhale because God was done creating. Did you hear that in the scripture this morning? Verse two tells us that God finished the work that God had done and God rested from all the work. It doesn’t say that God finished creating the world and then stepped back, wiped her hands clean of the project and let it go. God finished the work that God had done and exhaled. In those six days of creation, God had created enough for the time being.                                                                                                                        You see, this question of enough has little to do with you and everything to do with God.
We see God leading by example, right?  We too are meant to discern for ourselves when enough is an okay thing. Because we live in a society where there are all of these outer voices telling us that there is always lots to do, more to be and much to have, we get wrapped up in conforming to these wants, not needs, but wants of the world. But this discernment piece is tricky, right? We don’t have magical answers that will make it easy to figure out when to take a break or when to breathe, or when to stop buying things, right? I don’t think there’s an app for that. It’s just not that easy.  Having, being and doing enough is a matter of faithful and honest discernment. Perhaps a good question to ask as a starting point is “where in my life has ‘not enough’ of one thing impacted ‘enough’ of something else?” For example, have your efforts to move up in your company impacted how much time you spend with family? Where have your endeavors to gather more material things affected your relationship to God? There is a different question in here for each of us, I believe, because this idea of enough is an assessment of values, an assessment of what matters most to us. 
We all know the 10 commandments, and if nothing else, we know that we’re not supposed to murder, lie, cheat, steal, etc. We all hold those to a high degree in our lives. Perhaps that is because the law also has something to say about them, that if we do these things we could end up in jail. But nonetheless, we’re following the rules, for the most part.  Now, y’all know that “Keep the Sabbath Holy” is one of those commandments too, right? Well, then, what happened? Somewhere along the way we lost respect for Sabbath and maybe that’s because the local government has nothing to say about rest. But just as our well-being depends on not murdering someone and going to jail, so too our lives also depend on taking rest.
As our text reads, God not only took a break from creating, but God blessed that day of rest and made it holy. God made it sacred. God made it what? Sacred. The seventh day, when God rests it is the first, the very first sacred thing, before any other part of Creation. God hallowed the seventh day. To hallow something means to greatly respect it. And we talk all the time about how we need to respect others, respect our bodies, respect differences, respect, respect, respect. But when did we forget to respect rest? Just as rest is sacred, so are our bodies.
We talked a couple weeks ago at Awestruck about how we are both fully human and fully divine. We are both things in one body and that is to be upheld with love and compassion and grace. More than anything else, our bodies know what is enough. Thought, most of the time we aren’t paying attention until it’s too late. When we get nervous or anxious about something we oftentimes feel butterflies in our stomachs. We tend to push ourselves to the max until we get sick and collapse from exhaustion. We work so hard and clench our muscles when we are stressed and never find the time to let them relax.
We’ve all heard the phrases “listen to your heart” and “go with your gut.” Well, church, these are no joke. There is nothing more honest than the Truth(s) of our bodies. Ever. Too often we put off our own well-being to be more, rather than taking preventative measures to ensure that we keep our bodies in check. 
Before I moved to Los Angeles last year, I told myself it was going to be a year full of change and growth and self-care management. Knowing that I am going into a field that has an incredibly high burnout rate, I decided this would be a good first step. A preventative measure, if you will. I knew that working 40 hours a week and living in intentional community would drive me to exhaustion. So, while I lived in LA, I began running five times a week and went to church on Sunday mornings. I planned time for myself and rarely shifted my schedule away from that. And now, since I have moved up north to Berkeley, CA and started seminary, I exercise on a regular basis and, as an added bonus, you can find me every Tuesday night at a local spot with a group of seminary students singing karaoke. Yup. I sing karaoke. See, not only are these things intentional rest for me but they have become spiritual practices. They are holy to me. They are sacred. 
In his book, Wayne Muller talks about having enough, being enough and doing enough. At this point in my life, I have somehow, by the grace of God, figured out how best to manage ‘doing enough.’ Due to circumstances and life changes, I know this will change, but for now, I have it figured out. However, having and being enough are completely different stories. For all of us, myself included, I come back to the question: what do our habits tell us about our relationship to God? Are we being faithful consumers? Do our intentions and ambitions come from a place that reflects the love and mercy of God? I have found that when we take a step back to breathe or relax or stop doing whatever we’re doing, that things become infinitely clearer. So how do we faithfully respect the exhale? How do we manage living in a society that always wants more of us?

Take a deep breath in… and let it out…

Let’s start there. Let us start by breathing and discerning and loving God. Let us call to mind the things that hold importance in our lives: the things that matter to us in our relationship to our bodies, in relationship to people, and in relationship to God. Having, being and doing enough is a matter of faithful and honest discernment. By reclaiming the exhale, we respect God. Because when we allow for room to breathe, we allow space for grace. And God’s grace, above all else, is enough. Amen.