[family]

So as I'm starting to wind down my time here at MFP, I'm having all these really hard conversations with clients about my leaving MFP. We have to do it in a graceful ways so as to model what it's like for a client to also transition out of MFP when they age out at 25.

.....

Client: Where's Dave?

Me: Dave's out on vacation.

Client: Oh, ok so does that mean you're next?

Me: No, actually, Dave is gone this week then next week is our last week at MFP.

Client: Oh really?

Me:Yea, time flies huh? It's already been a year!

Client: Well, I suppose we all need to fly the coop at some point. I'm flying next month.

Me: Oh yea? Where are you headed?

Client: Well, I turn 25, so...

Me: Oh, really? Dang.

Client: Yea, well, I'll still come back once and a while. At least I've got a job and I'm saving up

money. It will certainly help aging out of here.

Me: Yup. That's awesome! Good for you! Besides, with that, you'll get to a point where you won't need us anymore.

Client: Well, you always need your family. You know? This [conversation] is always needed...

Me: You know we're always here for that.

[final words...]

My final article for the Congregationalist to finish out my JVC year...

==================

Before I started writing this article, I asked my roommate, John, what I should write about. I said: "I'm trying to figure out how to put this feeling of being at a loss for words into words." And he responded by saying: "Well, that speaks volumes itself, doesn't it?" He continued, "When I write, I usually start with an experience and I run it completely out, looking at every question I'm left with and try to to find a shred of meaning in the question, not the answer." So here's my question(s): Why am I at a loss for words? Why is this particular (final) article so hard to write?

John was right. It speaks volumes that I can't seem to wrap up my year with any kind of words. When I think about everything that has happened this year, I am awestruck and amazed. It was transformational, incredible, soul-shaping, life-altering. There's a part of me that just wants to end this article right there. But those words don't tell you how... or why... or what. So when I lack the words, I turn to Sacred Texts... so let’s start there and see where the Spirit takes us.

You know, they say that when you do JVC you become “Ruined for life.” However, I don’t know how I feel about the word “ruined.” I think a better word, a more spiritually relevant word, is broken. I have been broken for life. And while that may sound depressing and sad, it brings me the strongest sense of grace and love and hope. The author of 2 Corinthians said this in chapter 4: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed.” I will admit, there were some days when I felt crushed and destroyed. But these verses ultimately get to the core of what made this year so transformational. Besides gaining an incredible network of support in my co-workers/community and getting to know over 500 young people, I was broken over and over again. My heart was afflicted, my mind was perplexed, my body felt persecuted, and my emotions had been struck down. I found myself struggling to gain the energy to go back to work day after day because I just didn’t know if I could handle the pain and struggle the youth would bring with them that day. At home, I found myself wrestling with the important questions of ideologies, theologies, and politics, causing me to break down what I thought I knew in order to open myself up to the ideas and opinions of others.

When we empty ourselves, or rather, when God graciously empties us, we find ourselves at our most vulnerable and fragile state. And that state is not one of which we are to be wary. But rather, one to embrace knowing that God will do incredible things through us and for us because we have allowed ourselves to be broken.

So here’s to emptying ourselves... over and over... and being broken... again and again. For where there is brokenness, there is healing, and where there is healing, there is a Healer. So when the words don’t come so easily or the troubles of the world seem like too much for today, know that the Healer is holding you in the palm of Her hand... always.

Strength for the journey, until we meet again (in a couple weeks!),

Emily

P.s. I will be in church on August 14th. See you there!

[a litany of JVC truths]

I was asked to speak at our final JVC retreat... here is what I said...

============

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
(Road Not Taken by Robert Frost)

So here we are, at the end of the road less traveled by... For some of us it was two years ago, but for most of us, it was just a year ago we embarked on this journey that was considered by most of our friends and family this "road less traveled by."

Andrew asked me to "analyze my JVC year" and gave me a few questions which could guide this little schpeil. As I looked them over I realized that if I were to go by those, I would be standing up here talking about myself. So, I decided to take a different, more JVC-esque approach, and make this as communal as possible... with a few anecdotes here and there.

I have written a litany of what I am calling "JVC Truths" because they are things that my roommates, the wider LA community, and hopefully most of you have come to realize over this past year. So, let's get to it, shall we?

-- Finding cheap entertainment is key. For example: going to free museum days, taking advantage of the talks at local universities, hiking in the park, window shopping, sliding down your staircase in your sleeping bag. Sometimes you gotta find the kid in you.

--On that same note, if free stuff is getting handed out... YOU TAKE IT! Food, pens, bags, etc. I don’t care what it is. You.Take. it!

-- You will probably find yourself stuffing your face because you never know where or when you might get your next meal. So, why not, right?

--You know, they say that there are a few topics that are totally taboo in American society: religion, politics, and your income. In JVC you live religion, talk about politics, and make fun of your income... because you come to learn that you earn $3 an hour for work that you are TOTALLY unqualified for.

--Speaking of work... you will RARELY be prepared for everything that happens at work. AKA Expect Surprises. For example the first day of work for Dave and I... while I’m on the verge of tears because I’m so overwhelmed I could hardly see straight, there were two or three fights that broke out. Someone got kneed in the face by his girlfriend, two guys started yelling and we thought it may get physical. It was really scary and surprising!

--If your agency hands out food because you're something like a homeless center or food pantry... and you're allowed to eat it... it's a GODSEND on those days you forgot to pack a lunch or didn’t know what to make for dinner.

--Never again will you think the same about big corporations-- such as Starbucks or Bank of America-- particularly if you spend time with Brendan Carey.

--Being a JV typically means taking public transportation... and, you probably found, that riding public transportation provides you with more entertainment than a typical Friday night. One time I was riding the bus and wound up next to this woman who was listening to ringtones on her phone... except instead of your regular ringtones they were incomprehensible songs. Then she started dancing in her seat, encouraging me to sing along. There I found myself on a Thursday night bustin a move to ringtones on the bus with a woman I didn’t know. If that’s not God, I don’t know what is.

--You have SOMEHOW managed to lose the napkin Amber gave you at orientation and gone without using one for an entire YEAR because it's a waste of a tree.

--You will likely think about having a garage sale several times during the year to earn some extra cash... particularly if you want to edge out your Korean neighbors who seem to have one every.single.weekend.

-- And, of course, no one parties like JV’s party... am I right?

Now for some different, more reverent, truths.

--You get out of JVC what you put in. Time, effort, strength, and love...

--Living in community isn’t always a picnic. But when it is, it’s one helluva picnic. You know how in movies when directors want to be really fancy and look down at a family having dinner from outside the house? There were several times when the other six people of my house would be at the dinner table and I would run to the kitchen to grab something and before I would sit down, it would hit me. This is the greatest community, with the most amazing people... and I am a part of it. Sometimes it felt like it wasn’t real life... and when i realized that it was, it nearly brought tears to my eyes. every.single.time.

--You can’t fix everything... unless you have lots of money... but then you probably have a miserable life. So, as the saying goes, live simply, so that others may simply live.

--Your job transformed you in ways you never could have imagined. For some of you, you may have found a new field of work... for others, perhaps you have cultivated new passions... and for those who didn’t do either of those things,, you figured out what you REALLY don’t want to do for the rest of your life. For me, this year has meant a lot of things. But in my time at My Friends Place, a drop in center for homeless and runaway youth in Hollywood, I found a fountain of passion flowing at my feet. I entered the year assuming I would just have a neat experience at a secular non-profit. But instead, I found a place to cultivate ministry skills, got to know some really incredible kids, and had an opportunity to step out of my box every day. And for all those things, I am so grateful.

-- To go along with that, JVC isn’t about you or me. It’s about we. It’s about the collective whole. Not just our wider JVC community, but our co-workers, and our clients. It’s about finding commonalities and uniting us as one human race. After all, WE ARE (all) HUMAN.

--Healthy debating and arguing... or as we like to call it in Casa JD, Breaking Down the Issues, inevitably happens. And if your lucky, it will consume your dinner conversations... and every other conversation... and you learn to love it.

--Every experience you have had and will have shapes who you have become and who you are becoming.... and know this... you are always becoming.

--You are always.exactly.where.you.are.supposed.to.be. This phrase helped me a lot with my Spirituality during the year. There were many times when I found myself being totally not present as I struggled at work and at home. But then I remembered that God has me where She wants me at every moment. A few weeks ago I wrote my pastor an outrageous email because I was pissed and upset about work. I felt useless, worthless and ineffective. I had failed to de-escalate an argument between clients because I lacked the words to do so. In her response back to my email she said: What is God calling YOU to as you face homelessness and de-escalation? With that, I learned to constantly be present to God’s role in my life and realizing that God has called me to be right where I am.... so then the question we need to constantly be asking ourselves is: What is God calling me to right now? What do I do with that? How do I respond to that call?

--Here’s something I realized early on: People will either love you for being a JV or be absolutely confused. Learning how to talk to people and how to phrase what you are doing will make this bizarre phenomenon easier to handle.

--No matter how cheesy “Ruined for life” may sound... admit it. You totally are.

-- Lastly, JVC life is the best life. And that’s a fact.

To quote Robert Frost again,
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

“I doubted if I should ever come back.”That’s what being ruined for life is all about. We will never be the same as we were a year ago... which can be scary and hard to manage once we’re back in the “real world.” But whether your house was flooded, roommates dropped out, you hated your job, or you didn’t get along with your community, things have changed. I know my perspectives on homelessness and poverty have certainly been altered...I know that love and compassion look completely different for me now... I know that I experienced some incredibly difficult moments this year and somehow made it through, and am better for it. And I’m sure that somewhere inside of you, something has changed too. I also know that in this end of the year/final days/dis-orientation stuff that we can get pretty caught up in good-byes and well wishes... in fact.. most of us already have. And that’s ok, right? It’s all a part of our transitioning onto new and different things. But “knowing how way leads onto way,” we acknowledge that whether it’s God working in our life or just the way life works, life happens, things change, we meet incredible people, and learn along the way.

So maybe you hated your year as a JV, or maybe you loved it... but either way, be assured that you took the road less traveled by... and it is my prayer that it has made all the difference....

[running with humility]

So, I've been running a lot more consistently, thanks to a plan my sister set up for me. It has sparked in me new determination and hope for my body and my attempt to embody my spirituality. A while back I read a post by friend and pastor, Jes Kast-Keat as she explained how running is humbling. She also mentioned a website called RunRevRun.net which is designed to be a support system for future and current ministers all across the country. While browsing the website I found this post. It was more of this "humility" talk that I find incredibly helpful.

Click here to see the post.

How do you embody your spirituality? What is it that humbles you?

[must.share.]

This is: beauty.expression.love.passion.God.

[MHCC]

Here's an article I wrote for/about my current church community in Los Angeles, Mount Hollywood Congregational Church. It tells you a lot about them... I'm only sorry you cannot experience this church in the way I have... Read on:

--------

I can't believe it's already JULY! I have been here in Los Angeles for 11 months now, and while it feels like I've lived here forever, it has also flown by in an instant. My time here has been filled with work and play, experiences and relationships, good times and sad times. And now, while I am anticipating the start of my Masters of Divinity program, I am sad because it means I am leaving not only my job and my Jesuit Volunteer community, but I am leaving you all. To think that I will no longer be sitting at the back running the soundboard, or helping to plan confirmation activities, or walking up and down the aisle collecting offerings makes me profoundly sad. It has been a privilege and an honor to get to know you all. You are an incredibly compassionate, convicted, loving, hospitable, and brilliant congregation. You all LIVE the questions, LAUGH a lot, and PRAY for each other. That is beautiful.

Thank you for letting me in to your lives in all the various ways you have. Thank you for allowing me to be a confirmation mentor. Thank you for trusting me to help lead small groups and worship. Thank you for your support in my current and future journey(s). Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for lovin' on me. And most of all, thank you for letting me be a part of your vibrant and loving community. I promise to come back whenever I get a chance! Below is my email address… I love emails! (If you want any other contact info, email me and I can give that out too!)

Following this you will find a poem I wrote about Los Angeles and it’s role in my life this year. Because I still have time left here and revelation yet to discover (in hindsight, most likely) it may be a work in progress for years to come... but here it is, raw and spacious-- leaving room for more... which is all life is anyway....

Peace, Love, and Strength for the journey,

Emily Labrecque

Fractions

It will have been
358 days
since that first day I arrived

(scared out of my mind for the unknown)

in this city
this jungle gym of concrete

that has me tumbling and stumbling

all along the way

it has taught me how to dig
through the mire
simultaneously reaching inward
searching for what (I didn’t know)
existed...
that which has been revealed to me
by the Beloved.

It has re-birthed me
into a passionate place
of love and kindness
for persons and ideologies.

It has given me space to explore

in and around

injustices and the harsh realities of life itself
bringing me down off my pedestal.

Claiming youth and naivete was

a trick I had played

thinking that I knew
all there was to know
about people and
God.

I was so wrong.

This city has taken me to the trenches
and torn me apart
piece by piece
and limb
by
limb
as it tried to tell me that pain is real
and life is hard
and (genuine) love can heal all.

This city will forever remain a part of my heart
no matter how much I try to condemn it
for it has allowed me to live and work and play...
which has also allowed me to
be crushed; then lifted up again
be broken; then put back together
be silenced; then slowly regain my voice.

It took 358 days
to get me where I am
a fraction farther than
where I started.

So I bow to the Beloved
because each of those days
and every single moment
caused me to come alive
over and over again

in this city.