I went to Student Life tonight. First time in a while and I did it reluctuantly...
I had a really hard time sitting through it. We spent the whole time talking about light. And we got off on this tangent about spreading our light (which was brought up by me-- the whole city on a hill cannot be hid metaphor) and they started talking about evangelizing and actions. Was one better than the other? Are we called to just one of them? Are they mutually exclusive? And I heard over and over comments about people not getting into heaven because they never heard the gospel. If we only show them and never tell them, it won't be enough. People had different viewpoints but it all kind of surrounded these same ideas. I find it uncomfortable only because my ideas won't be accepted. When someone mentioned that a Muslim lady she met last winter, despite the fact that she was lovely and wonderful, will be going to hell because she doesn't belive in the one true way, like Jesus told us--- I wanted to yell... But they all nodded in agreement. i don't want to go to cause a ruckus. I want to challenge, but my ideas are so different from the other 6 people there that I feel like it would be not welcomed. It isn't that I'm afraid to try... and I think it is important for me to be able to speak up against that... but I fought it at Cornerstone and I just don't feel like fighting it while I'm here. Because it is fighting. I stick true to what I believe, but when you're the only one in a group that believes it, I see it as though it just isn't the place for me if I'm not going to grow from the conversation....
So i'm left wondering... do I go even though I disagree greatly? Or do I stay back and work on homework like I feel I should have tonight? It's hard when I'm yearning for community and have yet to find it... I wan't to go to have that, but I feel like it will become a burden, rather than a blessing.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
~Finding God::9~
...in prayer.
Because this is also my blog I use for stuff other than NZ, here is an entry that can be part of finding God because I think it is important to that too. BUT I use this blog as a place for my sermons. I wrote the following sermon as an entry to the Ronald Goetz Essay for Elmhurst. It's an annual essay contest and you can write a sermon or essay which reflects theology/society/ vocational call/anything having to do with God.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So here's mine. It's entitled::::: It could be weeds in a vacant lot: An exploration of prayer
How often do you pray? What do you pray for? Who do you pray for? What position do you place yourself in when you pray? What purposes does it fulfill for you? How would you define prayer?
This is not part of a test or questions to help me with research. Rather, they are only to get your minds thinking, get the wheels turning. In our busy lives of work and school, extracurriculars and meetings, friends and sleep, when are we supposed to pray? Isn’t it the worst when you lay down for bed start praying and next thing you know you wake up the next morning kicking yourself because you realized you forgot to finish praying before you fell asleep! Oh well, isn’t it enough to say the prayer our parents taught us to say before dinner? Doesn’t God already know our prayers before we speak them anyway? I don’t think God would want to listen to me, I haven’t tried in years. What’s the point? If you find yourself asking these questions, you are not alone. Let us explore three questions, shall we? What is prayer? How do we pray? And what do we pray for?
When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, all he gave them was “Our Father in Heaven, hallowed by your name...” For most people, that just isn’t enough. We are told to pray for those who persecute us (Mt. 5:44), pray for peace (Ps. 122:6), pray for whatever (Mk. 11:24). Jesus prayed all the time.
So then what is prayer? You could survey a group of 100 people and I think it would be a safe bet to say no one would say the same thing. Prayer is personal and powerful. It is a harbinger of hope, faith, vulnerability, and humility. I believe prayer has been around since the beginning of time. People find a special kind of hope in prayer and the humility comes from the recognition that we are not God. We pray because we hope, we have faith, that something bigger and greater than us is looking out for us and will have His/Her/Its will done on earth. Last semester during my internship at St. Peter’s UCC in Elmhurst I was working on a project which required interviewing some of the older members of the congregation about their experiences in the church and community. While interviewing one particular older woman we started talking about thanks. We got on a simple, divine tangent and she said, “Every time I misplace something, when I find it I pick it up and say ‘Thank You God.’” She went on to say that it doesn’t matter what it is, how small or large, important or unnecessary, she says thank you. Simple forms of prayer. Little words here and there help remind us of our purpose on earth. They remind us that we submit ourselves to a higher power whom we trust.
It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve really come to understand the power of prayer. (Studying abroad for a semester will do that to you.) Marjorie Thompson in talking about fasting says, “Do not underestimate what God can accomplish in you through the consistent offering of such a discipline.” We can apply this to prayer because it is such an integral part of spiritual discipline. When asked about how to pray, Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray…” He didn’t say IF you pray, but WHEN you pray. There are several accounts of Jesus praying in the Gospels and if we intend to be followers of Christ in word and deed, we must not forget the word part. Prayer plays a vital role in our spirit. Mirabi Starr tells us it is simple being. The Eagles and Don Henley tell us it means learning to be still. Saint Teresa of Avila says it is as simple as being on terms of friendship with God. Some say it’s a conversation.
So then, let’s look at the next question. How do we pray?
We are people made to be in relationship with one another; it is an extremely important part of our lives. An essential part of those relationships then is conversation. When we are conversing with others we share and receive, speak and listen. That’s what makes it a conversation after all, right? It is no show and tell. Sometimes we get caught up in petitioning God for what we want or need. I tend to forget that beautiful notion of conversation… the idea that we need to listen. I read somewhere that listening to our lives is a part of prayer. It is something you must experience. I can’t tell you how to listen to your life because as God is still speaking, God speaks in different ways. Individuals hear God in their own ways. I have heard God in the beauty of land, people, love, conversation, animals, voices… the list goes on. So technically I have the ability to say this is not a question for me to answer.
Hear these words of Mary Oliver…
It doesn't have to be the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch
a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn'ta contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.
“This isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak.” God is still speaking. Are you listening?
Joan Chittister, Benedictine nun and international speaker, gives us other ideas. In her book The Monastic Way she says, “When we kneel down, we admit the magnitude of God in the universe and our own smallness in the face of it. When we stand with hands raised, we recognize the presence of God in life and our own inner glory because of it. All life is in the hands of God. Even the desire to pray is the grace to pray.” She goes on to suggest that, “When we have prayed prayers long enough, all the words drop away and we begin to live in the presence of God.” We are to become a living prayer. Inhaling and exhaling God’s love for the world. Letting go of all that burdens us and giving it to God helps us to begin living in the presence of God. Because, after all, it is the grace of God that allows us to pray.
So we know that we can pray with a few words, with thanks, with small stones, or weeds in a vacant lot. But what do we pray for?
I have been participating in an online blog from my home church in Michigan during Lent. A few weeks ago we discussed the topic of prayer, specifically from the Beatitudes. In the entry for that day, our pastor said that he realized he doesn’t pray to keep God informed about his life, but rather to keep himself informed about what is important to God. In prayers we realize what is important. We realize what is significant to humanity and to this world. Also, in remembering the Lord’s Prayer he discussed the phrase “this day.” He views prayer as having a 24-hour shelf life. We must keep reminding ourselves what is important and necessary as well as the hurts of the world. We find ourselves recognizing the pain of humanity day in and day out when we see the news, hear the prayers uttered from others, and listen to others lives and stories.
Again, Sister Joan Chittister offers these words for us. “The Talmud reads, ‘Never pray in a room without windows.’ Never pray without the world in mind, in other words. The purpose of the spiritual life is not to save us from reality. It is to enable us to go on co-creating it.” What are we doing with prayer? Asking for healing? For help? To solve the world’s problems? Chittister helps us picture prayer in another way. We are here to help co-create reality. God sent us to earth to create, in harmony with Her/Him/It, this reality of the Kingdom. This is why when we are living in the presence of God we become more one with God, helping to co-create. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel also gives us words. He says, “Words of prayer are commitments. We stand for what we utter. The word of prayer is like a pledge in the making.” We stand for that which we pray. We are co-creating. Through prayer and the presence of God we are creating this reality of the Kingdom that is full of peace, love and hope. Through prayer we become aware of our passions, our calling, our purpose which helps us on this struggle for justice and peace in this not-yet-created reality of divine life.
So then, when you pray “Do not heap up empty phrases.” Offer a blue iris if you wish. But know that weeds and small stones are acceptable. Then take the doorway and hear the voice.
No matter how you pray, why you pray, what you pray… remember these words of James 5. “The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.” So pray with purpose. Pray with love. Pray until you enter God’s presence.
Amen.
thoughts are always welcome.
Because this is also my blog I use for stuff other than NZ, here is an entry that can be part of finding God because I think it is important to that too. BUT I use this blog as a place for my sermons. I wrote the following sermon as an entry to the Ronald Goetz Essay for Elmhurst. It's an annual essay contest and you can write a sermon or essay which reflects theology/society/ vocational call/anything having to do with God.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So here's mine. It's entitled::::: It could be weeds in a vacant lot: An exploration of prayer
How often do you pray? What do you pray for? Who do you pray for? What position do you place yourself in when you pray? What purposes does it fulfill for you? How would you define prayer?
This is not part of a test or questions to help me with research. Rather, they are only to get your minds thinking, get the wheels turning. In our busy lives of work and school, extracurriculars and meetings, friends and sleep, when are we supposed to pray? Isn’t it the worst when you lay down for bed start praying and next thing you know you wake up the next morning kicking yourself because you realized you forgot to finish praying before you fell asleep! Oh well, isn’t it enough to say the prayer our parents taught us to say before dinner? Doesn’t God already know our prayers before we speak them anyway? I don’t think God would want to listen to me, I haven’t tried in years. What’s the point? If you find yourself asking these questions, you are not alone. Let us explore three questions, shall we? What is prayer? How do we pray? And what do we pray for?
When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, all he gave them was “Our Father in Heaven, hallowed by your name...” For most people, that just isn’t enough. We are told to pray for those who persecute us (Mt. 5:44), pray for peace (Ps. 122:6), pray for whatever (Mk. 11:24). Jesus prayed all the time.
So then what is prayer? You could survey a group of 100 people and I think it would be a safe bet to say no one would say the same thing. Prayer is personal and powerful. It is a harbinger of hope, faith, vulnerability, and humility. I believe prayer has been around since the beginning of time. People find a special kind of hope in prayer and the humility comes from the recognition that we are not God. We pray because we hope, we have faith, that something bigger and greater than us is looking out for us and will have His/Her/Its will done on earth. Last semester during my internship at St. Peter’s UCC in Elmhurst I was working on a project which required interviewing some of the older members of the congregation about their experiences in the church and community. While interviewing one particular older woman we started talking about thanks. We got on a simple, divine tangent and she said, “Every time I misplace something, when I find it I pick it up and say ‘Thank You God.’” She went on to say that it doesn’t matter what it is, how small or large, important or unnecessary, she says thank you. Simple forms of prayer. Little words here and there help remind us of our purpose on earth. They remind us that we submit ourselves to a higher power whom we trust.
It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve really come to understand the power of prayer. (Studying abroad for a semester will do that to you.) Marjorie Thompson in talking about fasting says, “Do not underestimate what God can accomplish in you through the consistent offering of such a discipline.” We can apply this to prayer because it is such an integral part of spiritual discipline. When asked about how to pray, Jesus said to the disciples, “When you pray…” He didn’t say IF you pray, but WHEN you pray. There are several accounts of Jesus praying in the Gospels and if we intend to be followers of Christ in word and deed, we must not forget the word part. Prayer plays a vital role in our spirit. Mirabi Starr tells us it is simple being. The Eagles and Don Henley tell us it means learning to be still. Saint Teresa of Avila says it is as simple as being on terms of friendship with God. Some say it’s a conversation.
So then, let’s look at the next question. How do we pray?
We are people made to be in relationship with one another; it is an extremely important part of our lives. An essential part of those relationships then is conversation. When we are conversing with others we share and receive, speak and listen. That’s what makes it a conversation after all, right? It is no show and tell. Sometimes we get caught up in petitioning God for what we want or need. I tend to forget that beautiful notion of conversation… the idea that we need to listen. I read somewhere that listening to our lives is a part of prayer. It is something you must experience. I can’t tell you how to listen to your life because as God is still speaking, God speaks in different ways. Individuals hear God in their own ways. I have heard God in the beauty of land, people, love, conversation, animals, voices… the list goes on. So technically I have the ability to say this is not a question for me to answer.
Hear these words of Mary Oliver…
It doesn't have to be the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch
a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn'ta contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.
“This isn’t a contest but the doorway into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak.” God is still speaking. Are you listening?
Joan Chittister, Benedictine nun and international speaker, gives us other ideas. In her book The Monastic Way she says, “When we kneel down, we admit the magnitude of God in the universe and our own smallness in the face of it. When we stand with hands raised, we recognize the presence of God in life and our own inner glory because of it. All life is in the hands of God. Even the desire to pray is the grace to pray.” She goes on to suggest that, “When we have prayed prayers long enough, all the words drop away and we begin to live in the presence of God.” We are to become a living prayer. Inhaling and exhaling God’s love for the world. Letting go of all that burdens us and giving it to God helps us to begin living in the presence of God. Because, after all, it is the grace of God that allows us to pray.
So we know that we can pray with a few words, with thanks, with small stones, or weeds in a vacant lot. But what do we pray for?
I have been participating in an online blog from my home church in Michigan during Lent. A few weeks ago we discussed the topic of prayer, specifically from the Beatitudes. In the entry for that day, our pastor said that he realized he doesn’t pray to keep God informed about his life, but rather to keep himself informed about what is important to God. In prayers we realize what is important. We realize what is significant to humanity and to this world. Also, in remembering the Lord’s Prayer he discussed the phrase “this day.” He views prayer as having a 24-hour shelf life. We must keep reminding ourselves what is important and necessary as well as the hurts of the world. We find ourselves recognizing the pain of humanity day in and day out when we see the news, hear the prayers uttered from others, and listen to others lives and stories.
Again, Sister Joan Chittister offers these words for us. “The Talmud reads, ‘Never pray in a room without windows.’ Never pray without the world in mind, in other words. The purpose of the spiritual life is not to save us from reality. It is to enable us to go on co-creating it.” What are we doing with prayer? Asking for healing? For help? To solve the world’s problems? Chittister helps us picture prayer in another way. We are here to help co-create reality. God sent us to earth to create, in harmony with Her/Him/It, this reality of the Kingdom. This is why when we are living in the presence of God we become more one with God, helping to co-create. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel also gives us words. He says, “Words of prayer are commitments. We stand for what we utter. The word of prayer is like a pledge in the making.” We stand for that which we pray. We are co-creating. Through prayer and the presence of God we are creating this reality of the Kingdom that is full of peace, love and hope. Through prayer we become aware of our passions, our calling, our purpose which helps us on this struggle for justice and peace in this not-yet-created reality of divine life.
So then, when you pray “Do not heap up empty phrases.” Offer a blue iris if you wish. But know that weeds and small stones are acceptable. Then take the doorway and hear the voice.
No matter how you pray, why you pray, what you pray… remember these words of James 5. “The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.” So pray with purpose. Pray with love. Pray until you enter God’s presence.
Amen.
thoughts are always welcome.
Monday, March 23, 2009
~Finding God::8~
God has been found a lot lately. I'm noticing in everything I do, everyone I meet; prayers are being answered in some form, I'm seeing amazing beauty.
We got spring break-- the largest burden ever-- figured out for the most part. I don't know how much of this was us getting our butts in gear or God's grace and mercy on our souls, but I am happy. I have been so good as of late. I had an epiphany last week that has made me so content and at peace in God... Here's what happened...
::::So I keep telling myself that I'm here because I want to change part of who I am. I was telling a friend that I wanted to change the part of me that can be uptight, anxious, orderly. These are the reasons I was so nervous about spring break. BUT in the shower last week some time I realized... If I'm a child of God and God made me the way I am, then I have no reason to try to change. I can push myself, and I should (I am!), but that doesnt mean I have to force feed change into my life. Knowing the way I work, this is going to be mainly a "retrospective learning adventure." I have learned a lot already but I know when I get home I'm going to look back on this experience and realize how I have changed. This means I don't have to do things because other people are doing them. The idea that we might go camping for a few nights over break- not appealing, but i'm finding it more exciting than before. Do i like camping? No, but because I've been so willing to just let myself be free, I'm more comfortable with it suddenly. I can't WANT change ... at least not like this... I have to let it happen. I have to learn from my mistakes and live it up. This won't happen by me changing who I am. I can't do that. But I can prayerfully live it up.
So I am. Since realizing that, I have been so much happier here. And now that SB plans are figured out, I can focus on my studies and not worry so much. I don't think I could be happier right now. I can focus, be excited and awaiting the next adventure, and study all at the same time.
God is so.good.
We got spring break-- the largest burden ever-- figured out for the most part. I don't know how much of this was us getting our butts in gear or God's grace and mercy on our souls, but I am happy. I have been so good as of late. I had an epiphany last week that has made me so content and at peace in God... Here's what happened...
::::So I keep telling myself that I'm here because I want to change part of who I am. I was telling a friend that I wanted to change the part of me that can be uptight, anxious, orderly. These are the reasons I was so nervous about spring break. BUT in the shower last week some time I realized... If I'm a child of God and God made me the way I am, then I have no reason to try to change. I can push myself, and I should (I am!), but that doesnt mean I have to force feed change into my life. Knowing the way I work, this is going to be mainly a "retrospective learning adventure." I have learned a lot already but I know when I get home I'm going to look back on this experience and realize how I have changed. This means I don't have to do things because other people are doing them. The idea that we might go camping for a few nights over break- not appealing, but i'm finding it more exciting than before. Do i like camping? No, but because I've been so willing to just let myself be free, I'm more comfortable with it suddenly. I can't WANT change ... at least not like this... I have to let it happen. I have to learn from my mistakes and live it up. This won't happen by me changing who I am. I can't do that. But I can prayerfully live it up.
So I am. Since realizing that, I have been so much happier here. And now that SB plans are figured out, I can focus on my studies and not worry so much. I don't think I could be happier right now. I can focus, be excited and awaiting the next adventure, and study all at the same time.
God is so.good.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
~Finding God::7
Today I went to St. Peter's Anglican Cathedral in downtown Hamilton. I took the 8:30 bus forgetting that it doesn't take a half hour to get there. The service starts at 9 45 so I had some time to walk around before hand. I walked around the block and wound up at Momento (a main coffee shop chain here). It was all good. These are the things I used to get frustrated over. Now I'm coming to realize I can't do anything about it, and being frustrated won't get me anywhere, so I took it as a moment to just sit and enjoy my surroundings- the wafting of coffe and tea, the construction, cars passing by and casual conversation at nearby tables. I ordered a peppermint tea and sat outside. I didn't actually drink of it for about 10 minutes because it was so hot, so after a bit I got up and walked towards church. I sat on the steps going up to the cathedral and after a couple minutes Vaughn came up and sat beside me. He currently "picks stinken apples" as he says and was just wandering around for today. Maybe it was just for today. But it could also be that he doesn't have a home and wanders between the hours of his job. He had wrinkles on his face that could tell stories. They looked like those of the Guatemalan men, full of age and time.
A few minutes into our conversation he asked, "Are you going up to the church this morning?" to which I responded, yes. He looks and me and says with a smirk, "Oh, so you're one of them?" I asked him with a laugh, "What do you mean I'm one of them?" "I don't think there's anything up there," he responded. I asked him how he knew. "I guess we'll find out when I get up there." We laughed and I said, "I figure better safe than sorry!"
We went on to talk about what I do for a living and I said I was a student... when he asked what I study I said "History and Theology.... hah... I study God." We laughed. What a picture we would have made... the two of us on the steps looking up to the Cathedral. It was wonderful.
I finished my tea and headed up the steps.
I'm living on the no regrets system while here, but I wish I would have asked him more. I think the conversation could have run so deep.
Next time...
A few minutes into our conversation he asked, "Are you going up to the church this morning?" to which I responded, yes. He looks and me and says with a smirk, "Oh, so you're one of them?" I asked him with a laugh, "What do you mean I'm one of them?" "I don't think there's anything up there," he responded. I asked him how he knew. "I guess we'll find out when I get up there." We laughed and I said, "I figure better safe than sorry!"
We went on to talk about what I do for a living and I said I was a student... when he asked what I study I said "History and Theology.... hah... I study God." We laughed. What a picture we would have made... the two of us on the steps looking up to the Cathedral. It was wonderful.
I finished my tea and headed up the steps.
I'm living on the no regrets system while here, but I wish I would have asked him more. I think the conversation could have run so deep.
Next time...
Monday, March 16, 2009
~Finding God::6~
So I haven't studied at all today, and its 11:43, so I figured why bother starting, might as well blog.
So often when we, or at least I think of "Finding God" I think of the beauty, people, the good-hearted, etc. as I have blogged about previously. Well boy did things take a turn tonight.
There is a girl here who came with us from the US. She's a great person, kind hearted, funny etc. Well, I think inadvertantly for some, purposefully for others, we have been excluding her from our adventures or have just not texted her to go to lunch or dinner. Most probably thought she had a busy life of her own here, whereas I have been kind of avoiding her only for the reason that I have a hard time talking to her.
So tonight I was doing my washing and saw one of our Kiwi friends. He asked what I was doing tomorrow night for St. Patty's day and I told him we are going out for a couple people's birthdays. He asked if this person was invited... i said, well I think she was invited on facebook, but I dont know if anyone has talked to her. He proceeded to tell me how she has noticed that she hasn't been in on much of our stuff. Now, in our defense, she doesn't drink and doesn't really enjoy that atmosphere. I don't drink, or enjoy the atmosphere, but its something to do, so I go. So, there's where some confusion can some in. But there's no excuses.
In him tonight I felt God nudging me to include her more. Perhaps this was just him telling me how pissed off and upset she is at us for excluding her, but also, perhaps it was God saying, "Look, she's a child of mine, just as much as you are. She deserves to be included too. Invite her, talk with her, make conversation, be inclusive." I realize I have completely ignored her at times.
I am good at putting on a facade when it comes to being a follower of Christ. I don't know how to describe this moment tonight... almost embarrassing, perhaps? I'm ashamed to call myself one of God's own when I do things like this.
So I texted her after he and I talked and I'm hoping she'll come tomorrow night and be sober with me. And it is with prayer I hope to be more welcoming and opening to her and others from now on.
What a blessing it is when you feel God in a different way than expected. I'm still trying to be present with God every moment of the day. And maybe I have to realize things like this in order to be fully involved with God at all times. Also, I know I shouldn't feel ashamed to call myself a child of God when i do such things... after all Jesus came to solve all that, right?
Well, consider it a lesson learned... the hard way.
Tonight I pray for forgiveness for all exclusion I have participated in and I pray that as I progress as a child of God, as a disciple of Jesus, that I be more inclusive of others-- no matter their quirks.
(Sorry this wasn't too deep... perhaps I'll expand on it again when I'm not so tired. Feel free to ask questions of me... or my thoughts on stuff... get me thinking. I need that...)
So often when we, or at least I think of "Finding God" I think of the beauty, people, the good-hearted, etc. as I have blogged about previously. Well boy did things take a turn tonight.
There is a girl here who came with us from the US. She's a great person, kind hearted, funny etc. Well, I think inadvertantly for some, purposefully for others, we have been excluding her from our adventures or have just not texted her to go to lunch or dinner. Most probably thought she had a busy life of her own here, whereas I have been kind of avoiding her only for the reason that I have a hard time talking to her.
So tonight I was doing my washing and saw one of our Kiwi friends. He asked what I was doing tomorrow night for St. Patty's day and I told him we are going out for a couple people's birthdays. He asked if this person was invited... i said, well I think she was invited on facebook, but I dont know if anyone has talked to her. He proceeded to tell me how she has noticed that she hasn't been in on much of our stuff. Now, in our defense, she doesn't drink and doesn't really enjoy that atmosphere. I don't drink, or enjoy the atmosphere, but its something to do, so I go. So, there's where some confusion can some in. But there's no excuses.
In him tonight I felt God nudging me to include her more. Perhaps this was just him telling me how pissed off and upset she is at us for excluding her, but also, perhaps it was God saying, "Look, she's a child of mine, just as much as you are. She deserves to be included too. Invite her, talk with her, make conversation, be inclusive." I realize I have completely ignored her at times.
I am good at putting on a facade when it comes to being a follower of Christ. I don't know how to describe this moment tonight... almost embarrassing, perhaps? I'm ashamed to call myself one of God's own when I do things like this.
So I texted her after he and I talked and I'm hoping she'll come tomorrow night and be sober with me. And it is with prayer I hope to be more welcoming and opening to her and others from now on.
What a blessing it is when you feel God in a different way than expected. I'm still trying to be present with God every moment of the day. And maybe I have to realize things like this in order to be fully involved with God at all times. Also, I know I shouldn't feel ashamed to call myself a child of God when i do such things... after all Jesus came to solve all that, right?
Well, consider it a lesson learned... the hard way.
Tonight I pray for forgiveness for all exclusion I have participated in and I pray that as I progress as a child of God, as a disciple of Jesus, that I be more inclusive of others-- no matter their quirks.
(Sorry this wasn't too deep... perhaps I'll expand on it again when I'm not so tired. Feel free to ask questions of me... or my thoughts on stuff... get me thinking. I need that...)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
~Finding God::5~
Finding God in people....
I have increasingly noticed here in New Zealand how amazing people are as a whole. So many friends from home told me how wonderful the people are, how friendly and willing to help they all are and I have constantly been noticing such things. It has been, with most of the people I have met, that they would be willing to give me the shirt off their back, give me a place to stay, a meal, anything, even if it was their last. It's as though sharing is engrained in their culture.
Last night at an A Cappella concert I attended, at the end when we were expecting an encore, rather than another performance by the group from the US (who was amazing by the way), the emcee asked for us all to stand and all of the Kiwi's sang a traditional parting Maori song. It was beautiful. I listened and watched the tears pour down some of the singers faces. It amazed me. There is something about that kind of atmosphere that captures you and reminds you that there is still good in this world, even if it is only a small part.
As much as I have contemplated building genuine relationships and have pondered how to gain them while here, I have noticed that the kiwi's give off a huge amount of genuine care. I have a friend from the north of the north island and she always asks me if I'm okay-- whether its because I let out a big sigh, or have a worried look on my face...-- and it is just because it's their nature. I talked to some random kid I met at lunch one day on facebook and we were just talking about something and he just kept asking questions which provoked answers which may have contained some complaints. But he was willing to listen.
Now it isn't like I'm going to lay all my problems out on the New Zealand people, but it is touching to see such care and concern shown all the time. It's just so neat. I thought I was going to feel like an outsider but instead have been embraced.
With knowing the field I'm going into and the religious background of this country, I expected a lot of cold shoulders. But I've found that even though the majority of this country is non-religious, they're not not Christian because they've been turned away from it-as it seems in the US. Instead, they are curious and intrigued. It's amazing.
Christianity asks us to be Jesus to the world, in a few more words than that. It requires us to do the work of God on earth, to be the hands and feet of God, to show the care and compassion Jesus showed during his ministry, and to be giving of unconditional love. The NZers love like Jesus without knowing it. I read in a daily devotional, a comment by Joan Chittister which partly said, "The movement to pray is the movement of God within our souls." So I'm taking this out of context, but this makes me curious... I feel as though God must be working through these people whether they know it or not and whether they believe in God or not. The movement to be caring, compassionate, loving, sharing.... is the movement of God within their souls.
I have increasingly noticed here in New Zealand how amazing people are as a whole. So many friends from home told me how wonderful the people are, how friendly and willing to help they all are and I have constantly been noticing such things. It has been, with most of the people I have met, that they would be willing to give me the shirt off their back, give me a place to stay, a meal, anything, even if it was their last. It's as though sharing is engrained in their culture.
Last night at an A Cappella concert I attended, at the end when we were expecting an encore, rather than another performance by the group from the US (who was amazing by the way), the emcee asked for us all to stand and all of the Kiwi's sang a traditional parting Maori song. It was beautiful. I listened and watched the tears pour down some of the singers faces. It amazed me. There is something about that kind of atmosphere that captures you and reminds you that there is still good in this world, even if it is only a small part.
As much as I have contemplated building genuine relationships and have pondered how to gain them while here, I have noticed that the kiwi's give off a huge amount of genuine care. I have a friend from the north of the north island and she always asks me if I'm okay-- whether its because I let out a big sigh, or have a worried look on my face...-- and it is just because it's their nature. I talked to some random kid I met at lunch one day on facebook and we were just talking about something and he just kept asking questions which provoked answers which may have contained some complaints. But he was willing to listen.
Now it isn't like I'm going to lay all my problems out on the New Zealand people, but it is touching to see such care and concern shown all the time. It's just so neat. I thought I was going to feel like an outsider but instead have been embraced.
With knowing the field I'm going into and the religious background of this country, I expected a lot of cold shoulders. But I've found that even though the majority of this country is non-religious, they're not not Christian because they've been turned away from it-as it seems in the US. Instead, they are curious and intrigued. It's amazing.
Christianity asks us to be Jesus to the world, in a few more words than that. It requires us to do the work of God on earth, to be the hands and feet of God, to show the care and compassion Jesus showed during his ministry, and to be giving of unconditional love. The NZers love like Jesus without knowing it. I read in a daily devotional, a comment by Joan Chittister which partly said, "The movement to pray is the movement of God within our souls." So I'm taking this out of context, but this makes me curious... I feel as though God must be working through these people whether they know it or not and whether they believe in God or not. The movement to be caring, compassionate, loving, sharing.... is the movement of God within their souls.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
~Finding God::4~
If any of you know me well enough, you know how much I love david bailey's music. I was introduced to him at SYI the first time around and was hooked. He is a 12 year brain cancer survivor (who recently had another bout) but is still creating, loving, and living. His music has been influenced by his hope and faith in God through this time in his life. (Check out his music at www.davidmbailey.com)
This accurately describes how I am trying to live out my time here in New Zealand.
I will update more in the next couple days.
On a day like today
How could you be angry
On a day like today
How could you be scared?
On a day like today
How could you be silent?
There are too many moments waiting to be shared
On a day like today
Eternity is present
On a day like today
I can hear a gentle voice
On a day like today
The mystery surrounds us
There are two worlds before us
and we all must make a choice
Live here, right now
Or wait for something different
Live here, right now
Or hope for better days
Live here, right now
Embrace the world around you
Tomorrow's always one day,
Too far away.
Well on a day like today
Everything is sacred.
On a day like today
Nothing stays the same
On a day like today
Everyone's a soulmate
On a day like today
Every moment has a name
On a day like today
Dreams are for the takin'
On a day like today
Memories will be made
On a day like today
Barriers will be broken
If you believe as I
There's no reason to wait
Live here, right now
Or wait for something different
Live here, right now
Or hope for better days
Live here, right now
Embrace the world around you
Tomorrow's always one day,
Too far away.
(Sorry to david bailey if I got some of the words wrong, I couldn't find lyrics online so I just listened and typed.:])
This accurately describes how I am trying to live out my time here in New Zealand.
I will update more in the next couple days.
On a day like today
How could you be angry
On a day like today
How could you be scared?
On a day like today
How could you be silent?
There are too many moments waiting to be shared
On a day like today
Eternity is present
On a day like today
I can hear a gentle voice
On a day like today
The mystery surrounds us
There are two worlds before us
and we all must make a choice
Live here, right now
Or wait for something different
Live here, right now
Or hope for better days
Live here, right now
Embrace the world around you
Tomorrow's always one day,
Too far away.
Well on a day like today
Everything is sacred.
On a day like today
Nothing stays the same
On a day like today
Everyone's a soulmate
On a day like today
Every moment has a name
On a day like today
Dreams are for the takin'
On a day like today
Memories will be made
On a day like today
Barriers will be broken
If you believe as I
There's no reason to wait
Live here, right now
Or wait for something different
Live here, right now
Or hope for better days
Live here, right now
Embrace the world around you
Tomorrow's always one day,
Too far away.
(Sorry to david bailey if I got some of the words wrong, I couldn't find lyrics online so I just listened and typed.:])
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