~Finding God::6~

So I haven't studied at all today, and its 11:43, so I figured why bother starting, might as well blog.

So often when we, or at least I think of "Finding God" I think of the beauty, people, the good-hearted, etc. as I have blogged about previously. Well boy did things take a turn tonight.

There is a girl here who came with us from the US. She's a great person, kind hearted, funny etc. Well, I think inadvertantly for some, purposefully for others, we have been excluding her from our adventures or have just not texted her to go to lunch or dinner. Most probably thought she had a busy life of her own here, whereas I have been kind of avoiding her only for the reason that I have a hard time talking to her.

So tonight I was doing my washing and saw one of our Kiwi friends. He asked what I was doing tomorrow night for St. Patty's day and I told him we are going out for a couple people's birthdays. He asked if this person was invited... i said, well I think she was invited on facebook, but I dont know if anyone has talked to her. He proceeded to tell me how she has noticed that she hasn't been in on much of our stuff. Now, in our defense, she doesn't drink and doesn't really enjoy that atmosphere. I don't drink, or enjoy the atmosphere, but its something to do, so I go. So, there's where some confusion can some in. But there's no excuses.

In him tonight I felt God nudging me to include her more. Perhaps this was just him telling me how pissed off and upset she is at us for excluding her, but also, perhaps it was God saying, "Look, she's a child of mine, just as much as you are. She deserves to be included too. Invite her, talk with her, make conversation, be inclusive." I realize I have completely ignored her at times.

I am good at putting on a facade when it comes to being a follower of Christ. I don't know how to describe this moment tonight... almost embarrassing, perhaps? I'm ashamed to call myself one of God's own when I do things like this.

So I texted her after he and I talked and I'm hoping she'll come tomorrow night and be sober with me. And it is with prayer I hope to be more welcoming and opening to her and others from now on.


What a blessing it is when you feel God in a different way than expected. I'm still trying to be present with God every moment of the day. And maybe I have to realize things like this in order to be fully involved with God at all times. Also, I know I shouldn't feel ashamed to call myself a child of God when i do such things... after all Jesus came to solve all that, right?

Well, consider it a lesson learned... the hard way.

Tonight I pray for forgiveness for all exclusion I have participated in and I pray that as I progress as a child of God, as a disciple of Jesus, that I be more inclusive of others-- no matter their quirks.

(Sorry this wasn't too deep... perhaps I'll expand on it again when I'm not so tired. Feel free to ask questions of me... or my thoughts on stuff... get me thinking. I need that...)