~Finding God::12~

This is Milford Sound. A sound is an area of land/water such as this created by water which has melted off a glacier. Milford is actually a Fiord becuase it came from a body of water, not a glacier, but we aren't concerned with details right now.

I kayaked Milford Sound on my two week break. What a sight. It was unbelievable. There was a waterfall in the distance and our guide asked us how far away we thought it was. People were saying 2km, we were saying a mile... but in fact it was 5 miles away. Because of the sheer massiveness of the mountains surrounding the water, things seemed a lot closer than they really were. We kayaked all day and didnt get very far. It was wonderful.

"Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." (Mt. 17:20-21, MSG)

This passage has a whole new meaning after being at Milford. You sit there and look around you. You are a tiny morsel of being compared to these gigantuan mountains which line the water all around you. We kayaked around and when you get up close, you look up the mountain and can't see the top. It was so massive.

There are no other words to describe it. But when you think about the Matthew passage, if we have faith, as small as a poppy or mustard seed, we can move mountains. Now, of course we can't move them literally, but it refers to the power of faith. However, I find myself lacking faith frequently, especially while in New Zealand. I had to put my faith in God to come here, to be safe, to find a community, and to simply live. Granted, everything has been fine thus far, which tells me that despite my faith, God is still working wonders in my life. I wonder, if I give up- not give up in the sense that I am quitting, but in the sense of giving everything to God- if there may be an abundance of joy waiting for me. God has the plan and continues to reveal it to me... yet I find it easier to freak out and not acknowledge the fact that it really is under control. By no means is it easier because it causes stress and anxiety through the roof.

Why is it so hard to give up and give all of my stress to God.... I want control, and I know that's the issue, but I also know it isn't my place to have the control. Things will work out. I'll get grades (whether they are A's or not, who knows), I'll have fun, I'll continue to be living in the presence of God and everything will be great. I know it will. It always works out.

I have a feeling it works out the same whether or not I freak out, so I might as well stop worrying and start living. No one's going to care if I graduated Summa Cum Laude in 10 years, they're going to want to know how amazing it was living in New Zealand for 5 months. (So maybe I'm a little obsessed about grades... I know...)

Everything else will fall in place.

It will.

I just know it.

As long as I have faith.