~Finding God::17b~

TWO IN ONE DAY!? WHOA! :]

This is more of an addendum than anything... 

Ex-ile.

I went tonight and holy cow. I don't want you to get any wrong impressions from my last post (read it first if you haven't yet). 

It's an amazing community.  It isn't acting as a replacement, just an addition... perhaps I won't gain lifelong friends, but it has something-- it has the kind of conversation that I miss... the deep, profound, thought-provoking dialogue which gets you thinking, questioning, doubting, and affirming-- all at the same time.  I'm so glad I went tonight.  We discussed the Truman Show and then had more conversation on top of that.... I was going to save it for another post, but you're probably curious now, so keep reading. If you don't care, go ahead and stop reading :) up to you...

Speaking of realizations...

This is an attempt to weave everything we talked about tonight, so forgive me if it seems a little scatterbrained. Here it goes..

It started by talking about fear, death (for those of you who know me well, this is already sounding interesting), and resurrection.  We were talking (in relation to the Truman Show) about how fear surrounds us and whether or not that is a product of human nature, God, or Satan.  I think some would say "Satan" but I would say human nature.  Fear comes from a lack of trust in God.  So then is the end of the movie where he's on the boat the resurrection for Truman? Or is it when he walks through the door to get out of the bubble he's been living?  Either way, he is resurrected from the end, and if resurrection means new life, then coming to New Zealand was a huge resurrection moment for me.  Remember how I talked before about the events of Lent/Easter coming alive in our lives?  We may have our Ash Wednesdays when we feel like we are nothing but dust and insignificant, then we have journeys much like that of Lent, then Good Fridays, days when we feel like the whole world is coming crashing down on us and we (as my roommate from my freshman year and I would say) "hate the world," even to the Easters, the resurrections when we feel like we're on top of the world and have overcome something major, or even just finding joy in anything.  Well, NZ is another Easter for me. The reality of Easter has come alive in my life because here (as mentioned in 17a) I have found new life, realized the life that God has for me.  

Then someone brought up predestination along with the theme of suffering.

This is somewhat of a conclusion we came to after an hour of conversation on the topic... 

                     

If our lives are about following the set path or blueprint that God has laid out for us, then wouldn't we get too caught up in following it? Too much frustration is made over trying to follow God's so called plan for our lives.  We are worried about whether or not it is the right thing for us.  However, when this happens, we lose the freedom we have in Christ.  God isn't like Christoff (in the movie) where she has us bound up in a bubble which exists in a small part of the world. The freedom we have exists so we can make mistakes, explore, be creative.  We get this feeling as though we are constrained when really we should be putting our trust in God that whatever we choose will be used to our benefit and if something awful comes from it, then perhaps God will use it to help  us learn and grow.  I still think God is omnipotent, but I think God would find it more improtant that we have our freedom.  Does this mean I don't think God has ordained us for certain things? Not at all.  

                              

For example: I believe I have always been called to ministry somehow.  And I have discerned, and will continue to do so and pursue this call.  However, I'm not convinced it was always in my "blueprint" that I would come to New Zealand. Afterall, I didn't decide till October-ish to come here.  But God is working through this experience to draw me closer, to help me learn and grow.  Just as I think death has happened so much in my life, not because God wanted to teach me a lesson. I think all the death I have experienced happened just because it's human nature.  Not because God wanted them to die, it just happens.  But God has used those experiences to help me in a particular way... and it will be especially helpful when I'm a pastor... 

Ok, this is going to be interactive... I want to hear your thoughts on this? Do you think God has a blueprint for your life? Or maybe God is just flying by the seat of her pants?  Thoughts?  Examples?