[it's not ok]

Sexism has never been more apparent to me than it has been in these past few months. While most all -isms come up in my work-- racism, ageism, ableism, homophobism, etc-- none has been more apparent to me than sexism. I've never lived with guys before and my friend base has, for the most part, consisted solely of women for most of my life so perhaps this is the change that has propelled my sudden anger and rage towards comments and messages of blatant or accidental or hidden sexism and the over/misuse of women's bodies for any number of things.
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Let's start here: I know, I know... I set myself up for this: I am volunteering with a Catholic organization... but what kills me is that I have three incredibly passionate and intelligent women in my house who have never once thought of being in ordained ministry because in the religion they were raised, it isn't allowed. I had a conversation with another female JV the other day who sounded really passionate about the church and wanting to become a lay person within the Catholic Church. However, it was discouraging because I see in her qualities for church leadership, but she won't grasp onto them because she feels as though she can't go farther than a lay position. On one hand I respect the commitment to one's tradition... but when your tradition stifles your Holy call in the world, something's not right.
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Then there are the comments. We have gotten into debates within our house because one of the guys said something they didn't realize was offensive. Fortunately, we accept it as a learning moment and move on. But when those kinds of comments are repeated over and over with no regard for another person's gender, it's not ok. I walked into the house today after being out to lunch with Shannon... Dave and I engaged in conversation:

Dave: How was lunch?
Emily: It was great!
Dave: Did you have some good girl talk?
Emily: Um, firstly, no; secondly, I don't like that phrase. It suggests gossip and implies things.
Dave: Do you just hate everything with the word "girl" in it? And I don't think it means that.
Emily: Then what does it mean?
Dave: Talkin' about boys!
Emily: Um, no.
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So, whether or not he was joking, I don't know. However, it's "jokes" like these that make me angry. They're unnecessary... particularly when guys make jokes abut them because they don't know how else to deal with the bigger problem. It's sad and pathetic.
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Then there's the more serious issue of safety. As far as I'm concerned, no man will ever understand what women go through walking down the street-- between the whistles and the "cat calls" and the comments, it is degrading. One of the guys in our house thinks it is ok to walk around downtown Los Angeles at 12:30am in the Warehouse District with three girls. Nothing about this screams "ok." I was told by a wise friend that when a group is together, you bend towards the most vulnerable... if that means a gay male, ok. If that means a female with past sexual trauma, ok. If that means the person that feels the least safe, ok. But you change your ways to accommodate for the vulnerable.
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Why is it that Rihanna gets abused and then sings lyrics such as, "I like the way it hurts." ?? What kind of message does that send? And why are other musical artists singing songs that speak of not wanting to disrespect a girl, but then lists off all the things he likes about her body? Why is that appealing to people? Our minds become numb to societal ills when these are the things we are fed.
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Society has built these assumptions about women that oppress them... us... in ways that cannot be broken. Why is it that my desire to show the world what I've got has to go through barricades of stigma and beliefs and societal walls based on lies and fear?
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How do we fight back? Education (as we are doing in our house) is a first step. But what can we do beyond that to stop the abuses?