[my love]

maybe I'm getting ahead of myself and maybe I'm making early assumptions... but God's call is God's call, right?
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I had a conversation with the Committee on Ministry of the SW Assoc. of the Michigan Conference of the UCC (phew, that's a mouthful) last December and they had asked questions of me and my year of service including: What happens if you get to the end of the year and don't want to go to seminary anymore? Will you follow that? Will you recognize it?
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That hit me like a ton of bricks. I got concerned and I opened myself up to God's call on my life. I thought that yea, maybe I would recognize it. I hoped that I would follow it, even though it wouldn't be what my heart had been set on for six years. But perhaps something new would arise in me.
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It hasn't.
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Don't get me wrong--I love the work that I'm doing here at MFP. Absolutely love it. But it isn't where my passions lie. I miss talking about the church... I miss having the deep theological conversations. I miss being in that environment. I love working for the [wider] church. And I know my work now is benefiting people all the same, but it isn't the same. I have to sneak on my computer at work in the morning just to read my Inward/Outward or Sojourners or Still Speaking Devotional. It's frustrating. And here at MFP, I can't even talk about my faith with the youth because we're not a religious organization... which is actually why I chose this place (which means I guess I can't complain). But I'm not trying to complain. I'm just recognizing and responding to God's call. I loved being at church on Sunday and singing NCH 391 by heart. I love blogging about theology and faith. I love talking with people about their spirituality and their relationship with God.
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[deep breath]
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I suppose this all means that this year, I need to be finding myself ways to do all these things outside the workplace.
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It is certainly the road less traveled by... and I guess we'll see where it leads, with God's help, of course.