[choices]

Today I had my first real sense of being on a budget. Being a part of JVC, we are paid roughly $580 a month. Altogether there are seven of us in a house. Rent is roughly $2030 a month and we each get $100 a month for our personal stipend. After that, we get $90 a month for groceries. However, we compile that money giving us $630 for the month for all of us. Now, you must understand--rarely do I use my full stipend. I know I've only been at this for a month and a half, but I don't require much to survive. So let me explain what happened...
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At the beginning of this month, we took a trip and used the gas I had left in my tank... roughly 1/3 of a tank. That following Sunday before church, I was in somewhat of a rush but needing gas badly. So, I stopped at a gas station, only to realize you can't pay inside and can only pay by credit card. Well, since I only have cash per JVC, I had to use my credit card to purchase $40 worth of gas. Upon first thought I felt really bad about it. Then I decided, instead of just letting it go and feeling awful, I should take $40 out of my stipend for the month, go on $60 and call it good. That way, next month (which is rapidly approaching now) I can just take out $60 from our joint account for my stipend. I can't really figure out if that works right or not, but I think it did, so let's run with it.
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Now for the next part. I'm starting to get sick. Ugh. Not really timely, although if it is due to stress, that makes sense. I went to Walgreens after church today because I've been known to shake a cold with some Zicam and Orange Juice. And because my symptoms just started I thought this might work. We'll see if it actually does. However, I realized that I don't have enough cash left in my stipend for the month for both of those items. I needed an $9 bottle of Zicam and a $3 dollar bottle of orange juice. Ok, I had exactly $12 dollars left for the month. Well, then there's tax, right? So I had the other $40 from the gas purchase tucked away in my wallet. I had three options: A) Use my credit card and feel guilty B) use the rest of my stipend money and then some from the $40. C) Not purchase one of the items and hope I can still shake the cold.
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Let's explore the implications of this pending decision...
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One of the core values of JVC is simple living... hence the $100 stipend. I ran into a problem.. I don't *technically* have enough money to help make myself be not sick. For the the people in this world that are scraping by as a part of everyday reality, I finally have felt a little of your pain. However, I realize that most people who have hourly-wage paying jobs can lose their job at the drop of a hat if they have to take a sick day or miss a day of work because a member of their family is sick. Then once they lose their job they can wind up on the street homeless or scrape by on even less and try to find another job. Some illness's go untreated because the money to purchase the proper medication is not available. It's one of those decisions some people must make: feed my family or get proper medication? It must be a horrendous position to be in.
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I made the decision to buy both items, use part of next months stipend and go from there. I felt that with the current issues at hand (being robbed [more to come on that], handling the safety issues, stress at work) that it would be best to do whatever i can to get better as soon as possible.
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So as we are attempting to live in solidarity with people who experience these decisions everyday, choices have to be made. So maybe JVC and simple living and standing in solidarity this year isn't just about "doing as the Romans," per se. Perhaps the fact that I realize this and ask these questions and debate it is enough.
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May my desire to please God in this way be enough.