+Lent2010: the good way+

"Thus says the Lord: Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)

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(Because this is on my mind (and after all, what is a blog for than to say what's on your mind) I'm going to write about it yet again. It won't last long, I promise.)

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This scripture really rings some bells. As I'm thinking about JVC and where I feel God is calling me to serve, I find myself standing at the crossroads. Just standing there.

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The "ancient ways" God is speaking of refers to the covenant of Moses and its laws, which were to guide the religious and moral lives of the people. People have their opinions of where they want me to go. Some to Hartford, others to Hollywood. Those who want me in Hartford thinks is safer and the work is better for me. Those who are voting for Hollywood want to come visit me and think that work is better for me. Well guess what, folks? There is just as much danger in Hartford as there is in Hollywood. The work is very different but also very needed in both places. The ancient ways are telling me to go to the place where I will fulfill God's will for my life... that is the good way, after all. I think by walking in that good way we find rest because we have followed what God would have for our lives.

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Whenever we get off the beaten path and go down one road that we know God must not have been calling us to, we feel uneasy. That's how it was being at Cornerstone (three years ago-- holy cow!). I got to a point where I felt so down in the dumps and depressed and uneasy and I knew I had to transfer. I knew that just wasn't going to work. But the day I decided I was going to Elmhurst, I felt at ease. My heart was light, my burdens had been lifted, and life was good again.

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This must be what it means to follow the good path. So how do I do that with JVC? After all, I don't have nearly as much choice in the matter. Some, I suppose, but it isn't very clear. I feel called to one over the other now, but I don't know if that's how God feels.

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These feelings remind me of my favorite poem:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; .
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
. And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
. I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost)

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I would love to travel both roads. I would love to go to Hollywood AND Hartford. But that's not right. And that's not fair. I'm looking all the way to the bend in the undergrowth trying to figure out which is best to me, but no matter how much I look, I won't be able to figure out exactly which one is right for me. There's always ambiguity. And when I take the other just as fair, it will be just as though I took the other because both will give me great life experience and I will learn so much from both. Then once I'm there, I will "doubt if I should ever come back" because it will have had such a huge impact on my life. Perhaps I will be ready to leave, but maybe not. Maybe my call will change. Who knows. But in the end I will be telling stories with a sigh, knowing all I have been through has shaped me into the person God is calling me to be. I am taking the road less traveled by just by being in the JVC. I can't go wrong with either organization. I know that.

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The Message says, "Discover the right route for your souls" (Jer. 6:16). Is Hollywood the right route for my soul? What about Hartford? I am praying constantly about this decision. Whatever happens will happen and it will be the right route for my soul.